This morning I was home, looking at the Interwebs and thinking of things that would make me feel better.
I happened to visit one of my favorite websites , Playbill.com, and decided to check up on the happenings in NYC.
Lo and behold, I remembered that Angela Lansbury is currently on Broadway, starring in Noel Coward’s Blithe Spirit.
Angela Lansbury cheers me up.
Noel Coward also cheers me up. How could he not? He was a master at his craft.
And the fact that Christine Ebersole and Rupert Everett were also in Blithe Spirit cheered me up even more.
I was so happy that I almost fell off the sofa.
And, when I checked the site that offered Broadway discounts, I discovered that I could get these tickets at a reasonable price.
I decided to buy the tickets and tell Chris later. After all, tickets are non-refundable, so once I had them I had to use them. I can’t turn them back in. And I figured that in my delicate state of mind, he would have to agree that seeing Angela Lansbury is the only thing that I can do.
And, with all the shows closing on Broadway due to the recession, I HAVE to do my part. We all have to pick a cause and stick with it and my cause is throwing my money at Broadway shows because they are what truly makes me happy in this life.
And so we are going to go on April 4th. I just have to arrange for the bus trip. This gives me a month of something fabulous to look forward to, and I should be looking forward and not looking back.
I know I will still have my hard times and my sad times but I am not going to let it prevent me from living.
Oddly enough, the show we are seeing is about a ghost.
Thanks for all your kind words and sticking with me in the tough times. You mean a lot to me.
Just a note to all of you that read the blog.
My sister passed away last Sunday night. She had a heart attack, and I think it might have been complications with the medicine and the chemo that she was on.
I had just visited her on President’s day week, came back for a week and then she was gone. I had to travel back up to Pennsylvania to be with my mom this week and came back to Baltimore yesterday.
I know that most of you have known about the love/hate relationship I had with my sister. She was a very hard woman to love and she did a lot of things to the family that made me really mad. But deep down she still was my sister and I loved her.
She was only 39.
And she was much better in the last two years since she got sick. She had been nicer to me and my mom and a little less unstable. But I was not expecting this.
It still hasn’t really sunk in. I feel like I am standing on shaky ground and the cracks are beginning to form and if I am not careful it might just swallow me down.
But I am making an appointment with my psychiatrist today and my therapist too.
that is all for now. Thank you my friends
She ruined her voice. She really is not supposed to be talking.
God I wish she would take the doctor’s advice.
She needs to just shut up.
I am here safely in Northern Pennsylvania, visiting mom and my sister.
And lo and behold, we have drama already.
Sunday, my sister wanted to see Friday the 13th. My sister and I both like scary movies, so it is one thing that we can do together. AMy sister has been under some really strong chemo, stronger than the other chemo she has had, and it is affecting her badly. But she wanted to see the early film and we went.
She seemed OK during the film. She told me she did fall asleep for a few minutes here and there (which would be hard to do from all the screaming and whooshing of machetes). But when the movie was over she told me she was not feeling well and we should go straight home.
I got her home and about a half an hour later she went into a full blown anxiety attack. She threw things around her room and kept screaming that she was dying. My mother and I said we would get ready and take her to the hospital but that wasn’t good enough. She swore at us, told us she would be dead by then and called 911. (and we had no idea.) 911 calls back to verify the call and guess who answers the phone. Me! And I had no idea what was wrong, so I kept telling the guy that my sister called and said she was sick. I think he thought I was crazy, but sent the ambulance anyway. By this time my sister had torn down all the valentine’s day decorations she had put up and was dressed and was standing out in the driveway waiting for the ambulance.
We got to the ER and my sister got into a room and she told me that you HAVE to call the ambulance, becuase if you just go to the ER in your own car they make you wait for hours. Luckily I had grabbed a novel and was prepared to wait it out.
Incidentally she WAS dehydrated and had a rash in her mouth and esophogus so she really was sick. With my sister, you can never be really sure if what she is telling you is true. So, they kept her overnight and I think she is also going to be there tonight. My mom and I both thought she would be discharged today so we didn’t go in to visit, and I think this made her mad, but the way I see it is that if she is in the hospital it is like having a mini vacation from her, and my mom and I can just hang out.
Well, my mom has theater tickets tonight and before she goes she is going to stop in with a list of things mysister needs, including a flashlight for some odd reason.
I am not sure when she is coming home. Most likely tomorrow.
So, I am now here alone with 2 dogs, a frozen Pizza and the movie Run Fatboy Run!
It should be a calm night.
Just to let you know about my Monday’s future reading.
I told you that I drew the nine of swords and I was wondering how that might apply to the future.
Well, if you look closely at the image on the card, it shows a woman waking up at night, possibly from a bad dream. The card signifies bad dreams in many cases.
Well, early Wednesday morning I awoke, much like the woman in the image on the card, clutching my stomach. I took some antacid and that didn’t work and ended up throwing up for three hours. I am not sure what happened but I assume it was something unpleasant that I ate. I can only imagine.
Then I thought back to the nine of swords. There is no way I could have seen this coming, but in hindsight, it now makes perfect sense!
So, another mystery solved!
I had to take the day off. I woke poor Chris up with all my retching and he was very kind to me. I spent the day in the lazy boy in the room just off the bathroom, groaning. Once my stomach was empty, I started feeling better and am much better today.
I still don’t know what I ate to cause all that. I have been limiting my meals to grilled cheese until I feel calm enough to eat something stronger.
I leave for Edinboro and my mom’s in two days. I hope everything is going well up there!
This is for Spo’ who wanted to know the decks I am currently using.
My favorite deck is the Aquarian Tarot. I remember having this deck in high school The cards appear to be light drawing with some watercolor and are in an art deco style. I have had some luck with this Tarot, but some of the descriptions of card meanings can be somber. This is the card deck that keeps giving me the Tower as a past obstacle and I can’t seem to shake it. Live and learn.
I also am using the Gilded Tarot deck. This deck is full of bright colors and has a touch of whimsy. I get more positive readings from it and really like the artwork. It is by Ciro Marchetti and follows the symbolism in Rider-Waite. I should use this deck more often.
I have the Witches Tarot, as suggested to me by a tarot teacher at the new age store. She suggests this one because often you can remember the meaning of the card because the image represents the meaning (not in all cases, but in many). It is a good deck to use to learn with but I am not thrilled by the art. I haven’t really done many readings with this deck, so I can’t give you any insight to what I have discovered.
I just orderd the Tarot Art Nouveau and I think it is in the mailbox today. It is very Italian, florid and pastel, and looks very pretty. I am very visual when it comes to the cards. If I don’t like the art, I probably won’t like the deck and won’t gravitate toward it, and there are so many decks out there that I think are pretty ugly. I hope to start using this one this week and see how I do.
One deck that I do not own but would like to buy is the Tarot of the Cat people. The art is a little strange, but this is another deck that I had in high school that I can’t find. It might be in the basement, so I might crawl down there and look. But if I can’t find it I might get this deck again. I seemed to have some luck with it. It is a deck with good karma.
The only other deck I am using is one pertaining to Animal Spririt guides and is more of a set of oracle cards than a tarot deck.
Oh, and thanks to Tiger Yogiji who suggested Aeclectic Tarot on the web. I have been hanging out there and reading the forums. You can look at many of the decks there and they have sample images of many of the cards. That way you can select decks you might want to own.
Today is the Knight of Pentacles. The book I use said that he represents public service, and that is what I am doing tonight. So I guess it can come true!
Now to figure out what that tower means as far as my past!
I figure I had better say something. I have been quiet as of late!
I really have not had much to say. Even now I seem to be at a loss for words. It is not that I haven’t been busy, just not in a mood to share.
I have been following Chris’s lead and have been studying Wicca for about a month now. I really am enjoying it. I have attended several Wiccan services and really like the people that attend. I feel that I really fit in here, and it gets me out of the house and meeting new people. I also like the fact that the services are usually in the evening and not early Sunday morning. And the services let you participate and not just have someone preaching at you. And the services are inclusive, and Wiccans really welcome everyone.
The other thing I like about Wicca is that you can tailor it to your needs. There isn’t any dogma attached to it. There are some bacis principles to follow, but how you go about following them is entirely up to you. You can believe some of it, most of it, or all of it. And mostly, you have to follow the principle of harming none. But I really like going to the services and I really like hanging out in the New Age store. There is a great little new age store here in Baltimore called Mystickal Voyage and it has a coffee and tea shop. There is another store I like called Turning Circle and the people there are equally nice.
I have joined a monthly Tarot card reading group and have purchased some new decks to work with. I seem to have misplaced my decks from high school. I do believe they are in the house somewhere, but have no idea where they could be. So, I have to break in a new deck and relearn everything because I can’t remember anything about them.
But, everything is a learning process and I really hope to be able to continue to learn and grow and meet new people.
Anyway. That is all for today!
PS. This morning I upended my carry bag and got rid of all the broken pens and dust bunnies at the bottom. I was collecting quite a bit of fuzz down there. Now my bag is in tip-top shape!
PSS. For my future I drew the nine of swords. This card seems to predict misery. I wonder what is going to happen?