Cats, ect.

July 9, 2007 at 11:26 pm 7 comments

The cat is fine.

He is bounding up the stairs and running hither and yon.

I am exhausted.

I sat up the entire night worrying about the cat.  Wondering if I was going to be too late to get him to the vet.  Thinking that he was going to die.   All typical Doug worries.    I knew I could take him to the vet at seven, so I stayed up and watched movies until it was time to take him.

In the morning, he was hopping around like normal.   All day he has been acting as usual.

It is me that is traveling on a downward spiral.    And now I am exhausted.  I tried to sleep today, managed about three hours I guess.  On and off.  It is so bloody hot here in Baltimore even the window AC can’t really keep all the heat out. 

I guess focusing on my cat I could not focus on other things in my life.

I am feeling overwhelmed.

I am feeling that life is going to fast and I can’t seem to catch up.

I feel like I am always on the sideline waiting for something horrible to happen.

I feel like I don’t want to have any more feelings because they only lead to more misery.

I feel like I really need to be able to sleep tonight.  I hope I can. I really hope I can.

I am struggling to get myself ready for work tomorrow when everyone asks the inevitable question.  “How was your vacation?”.   I need to smile gently and tell them “fine”.

No one really wants the truth.

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Updates, pets, other things. El Dewey’s Super Fun Depresso Blog

7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. urspo  |  July 10, 2007 at 3:34 am

    my cat is doing the same thing, so I empathize.
    when people ask about the vacation, try to say something more truthful, such as it was sometimes a dissappointment. while it is not ‘the game’ it will be more empowering for ya.

    Reply
  • 2. Debbi  |  July 10, 2007 at 4:37 am

    We’re here to listen Doug, don’t forget that or us.

    It’s hot as heck here too. The temp was around a 100 today, until it rained.

    Reply
  • 3. Jim  |  July 10, 2007 at 4:58 am

    Doug,

    anything, just ask, okay?

    Hotter than hell in the middle of summer in Tarana today… humidex is in the low 100s. It’s supposed to drop back down into the 70s by Friday.

    As for the co-workers, you could always give them an answer that makes them think… “it was suitably fascinating.”

    (I’m a master at being obtuse when required! 🙂 )

    Reply
  • 4. Tony  |  July 10, 2007 at 7:05 am

    I think Spo is onto something!! YOUR VACATION is what it is. Not all vacations end perfectly. Each passing day gets better…it’s all in the way we look at each passing day. Be positive!!! Hug.

    Reply
  • 5. Kev in NZ  |  July 10, 2007 at 9:04 am

    Doug
    I just wanna come over there and give you a huge huge hug.

    I never know what to say in these situations. I just want to take you shopping for some reason to cheer you up. When my BF is having a bad time i always take him shopping……he ends up saying to me that he has never liked shopping and that i should know that and we end up going to a cafe and laughing continuously about it.

    Sending you a virtual hug,
    kev in nz

    Reply
  • 6. TigerYogi  |  July 10, 2007 at 1:05 pm

    I hope that you’re doing better today Hon.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    ((HUGS))

    Reply
  • 7. Coco  |  July 10, 2007 at 5:19 pm

    First…
    if you believe in God, then you know that God doesn’t hate you!
    had to say it…previous post.

    Maybe your cat doesn’t like the heat either…

    As for your sister…
    OK, so it’s not the best scenario, BUT it’s also not the worst!!
    We will just pray that the chemo and radiation will stop the Cancer from spreading…that the Cancer will no longer exist in her body.

    Positive thinking, my dear Dewey (hugs)

    Blessings.

    Reply

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