El Dewey’s Super Fun Depresso Blog

July 11, 2007 at 11:07 am 6 comments

Thanks for all your comments, thoughts and prayers.   I needed them.

 After a particularly bad day yesterday I cried for quite a while and got a lot of stuff out of my system.  I also made an appointment with my psychiatrist and am going to try and get a therapist today.  Hopefully the therapist will hook me up with a support group.  Now if I only would go…

You would think I would be better at handling these disasters.

I am used to them.

I was talking to my mother about my families ever increasing bad luck.   It is almost like we are cursed.  I wonder if one of my ancestors angered a gypsy.  We don’t have run of the mill bad luck, either.   We travel from one disaster to the next. Friends of my mother’s have noticed this.  Is it possible to have this much bad luck in one family?

I go to work and other people at work talk about weddings and grandkids and graduations.  They bring in pictures.  My family doesn’t take pictures.  Nothing ever seems to happen that we would want to remember.  And I look at these wedding pictures and have really nothing to say.  I don’t know how to respond.  It all looks so normal.  And I am a creature of chaos.

This is the whole reason as to why I never answer the phone.   I am so used to awaiting bad news and often bad news comes by telephone, the telephone is my enemy.   Chris gets mad at me because my phone will be ringing and I will never make a move to answer it.    When I feel ready I check the voice mail.   Then I can call the person back.

Not that I have many people calling.  Being ever so introverted I don’t get out much.  I know I need to. But I spend so much time worrying about the future and what is going to happen next.  Because what will happen next is never good.  And it is hard to make friends because people ask too many questions.   I come across sounding too much doom and gloom. Nobody wants doom and gloom at their party.   So, then I have to pretend.  But what good is having a friend if I have to pretend when I am around them? That  doesn’t seem right either.

At least Chris understands me and all the baggage I am carrying around.  I think I just inherited another suitcase.

Ah well.

At least I slept well last night and am feeling better this morning.   Now to only get through the day…

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

Cats, ect. Iced Lattes, cheeseburgers and my underpants.

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. tigeryogi  |  July 11, 2007 at 2:43 pm

    Hon, you have plenty of friends right here!

    And I would be HONORED to have you at one of my parties!

    ((HUGS)) 🙂

    Reply
  • 2. Dr. Sparky  |  July 11, 2007 at 7:55 pm

    If you gave me your number, I’d call.

    Give yourself a hug for me.

    Reply
  • 3. duane  |  July 11, 2007 at 8:14 pm

    I am sorry that you are going through a lot right now, and I am really sorry to hear about your sister’s condition. I hope that things get better soon.

    Have you thought about taking anxiety medications? I am just like that when it comes to the worrying, and it really helps to calm some of that inner voice down.

    Hope things are better!

    Reply
  • 4. Coco  |  July 11, 2007 at 8:23 pm

    we tend to think that someone else’s family is always better…
    NOT so!!

    that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence-
    it’s NOT!!

    ALL families have “issues”!! (we just don’t hear about them because we don’t know the family very well)

    EVERYONE has “baggage” of some sort…
    such is life!

    Anyway, I’m glad that you’re going to see a therapist…
    good luck!

    have a wonderful week : )
    hugs!!

    blessings.

    Reply
  • 5. Rian  |  July 11, 2007 at 8:58 pm

    Doug, I always thought that I’m the only one that does things like that. But I completely understand you. Currently I feel great, but a few months ago a was in the same situation. My enemy was the mailbox…
    Hang in there, BIG HUGS from Germany!

    Reply
  • 6. Jim  |  July 12, 2007 at 3:50 am

    Doug,

    You could always just turn the bell off on the phone. Some days I do that when we’re deluged by telemarketing calls, or some people we have no desire to speak to keep calling. I ditched the voicemail years ago, so if it’s important enough, they’ll call back.

    Keeping you in my thoughts from the frozen north.

    Reply

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