The Auto Haiku Tag Meme

June 14, 2008 at 5:23 pm 3 comments

I found this on Tiger Yogiji’s blog.  He didn’t tag me (sniff, sniff) but I decided to play anyway.

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst movie you can think of.  
You can include separately the title and a description, but the line can only be
five syllables.

In seven syllables, no more, no less, describe your worst date.   Certainly,
describe in an aside the situation.  Bonus points if it was sordid.  Subtract
points if it sounds too much like an overweight fifteen year old Goth girl.

In five syllables, no more, no less, describe the worst job you ever had.  Same
as above.  Extra bonus points if it consists of Grim, Taxi dancer.

The worst movie I can remember seeing was one that I actually walked out of the theatre during the screening. (to my knowledge, this has only happened twice.  When I pay for a movie, I stay. Unless it is so awful I can’t stand it.)

This was a movie my friends wanted to see and they said it got pretty good reviews.  It was a documentary of that weird cartoonist R. Crumb who invented the “Keep on Truckin'”  thing and drew pictures of lots of women with big boobs.  The movie was awful.   And R. Crumb was so weird that I couldn’t stand anything about him.   I remember walking out of the movie and going next door to a little coffee shop and got some coffee.  Then I came back in and chatted with the concession stand person until the movie ended.   My friends didn’t seem to like the movie much, either, but they stayed until the end.  I looked it up on IMDB and it is just called “crumb”.  Avoid it.

My Haiku

Porno cartoonist

The next part.  My worst date.    It actually is about the setting of the date, not the company, because I was with Chris at the time.  I never really date all that much so most of my dates are with Chris. 

It all started because I had the Entertainment book and was looking for a coupon to go to dinner.  Chris said that we could go anywhere new as long as it wasn’t a restaurant in a hotel.   I found one that looked promising and we decided to go there.  Chris thinks the name was “Florida Keys”.   We arrived at the restaurant and low and behold, it was in a hotel.  That was the first strike against it.  Then, we entered and the restaurant had a bar, and in the bar was this horrible Jimmy Buffet wannabee singing away.  And he would sing a line and then stop,  and wave to someone in the crowd and say “Hey, Lisa, Long time no see” and then continue with the song. It was horrible. 

To make matters worse, when we got our food and were about to eat, the power went out.  And stayed out.  And we were in the dark.  And they still managed to charge us.  But they had to write down our card number because the credit card machine was also not working.  I call this line

Bad music and no power

The worse job I ever had was in an Italian restaurant.   I was the dishwasher.   And they always cooked their sauce in a huge pot.  A pot that was almost as big as I was.  At the end of the night, I had to scrub out this pot.  I practically had  to get inside the pot to reach the bottom.   One night, the laundry next door backed up and flooded the entire restaurant.  As the dishwasher, I had to stay late and mop up all the water.  It took a long time.   Oh, and did I tell you that they made me take the pan of hot grease from the fried foods outside every night and dump it in the sewer?    That was something else.  I call this line

Grease, big pots, mop mop mop.

 So, my haiku turns out to be:

 Porno Cartoonist

Bad Music and no power

Grease, big pots, mop mop mop.

Incedentally, the other film I walked out in was that horrible Adaptation with Nicholas Cage.  My mother’s cousin was actually asleep in the theatre next to me while it was showing.

Another bad one was some Quentin Tarantino film about  Vampires in a brothel.  We almost walked out of that one but somehow stayed til the end.

I tag Indigo and Java!   Have Fun!

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Godzilla DeeeLite

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. tigeryogiji  |  June 14, 2008 at 5:45 pm

    Oh sweetie! Don’t be mad at me! I had just tagged you recently and didn’t want to be a pain! 😦

    It sounds like your job experience was worse than mine… 😉

    Reply
  • 2. javabear  |  June 15, 2008 at 2:54 am

    This one will be a challenge. Let’s see if I’m up to it.

    Reply
  • 3. Indigo  |  June 15, 2008 at 2:50 pm

    I uploaded my responses. Thanks! 🙂

    Reply

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