The Secret

I have a secret.

I am not at liberty to share it, but it makes me incredibly happy.  I have been smiling all weekend.

It is a truly remarkable secret. 

I have alway had trouble keeping secrets.  Not that I have ever known that many.  People that I know are not very secretive.   And I have always worn my heart on my sleeve. 

In my family I grew up with secrets. My mother was always afraid of “what the neighbors might think.”  Not that the neighbors ever came over.  My parents did not really entertain.  I am sure they had friends, mostly people that they worked with and occasionally they did go out and leave us with a babysitter, so I do believe that they had some kind of social life.  But the neighbors never did actually come over and I never could figure out what we were supposed to be hiding from them.

I had a friend named Dana and I used to go over to her house for the holidays.  It was amazing!  They had a table full of people and a full bar sitting out on the kitchen  counter.  People were laughing and drinking and running from room to room.   It was a houseful of merriment.   We never drank in my family.  We did have a liquor cabinet, and it did contain a few bottles.  The tops became crusty from congealed sugar.   I do remember my father buying us some cold duck on New Year’s and we always got a sip.

Sometimes my aunt was invited over and I think she might have been toasted.  Of couse, since we never talked about such things, my sister and I were never to know.  I do remember on occasion in which my sister was getting ready for a dance recital.   She had a sparkly orange dance outfit with gold fringe hanging from the sleeves.  My aunt insisted on trying it on.  It barely fit.  I can see her now, standing in the living room in my sister’s dance recital outfit.   My mother was mortified.  I am sure glad the neighbors all stayed home that day.

So my family is no stranger to secrets.

And now I have one.

And it is wonderful.

Have a great day, everyone!